Category: Natural Rights Of Children (page 1 of 3)

Do you think discipline has a role to play in your parenting?

I just read a great book Mindful Discipline and it reaffirmed that there are healthy versions of discipline and self-discipline.

Here’s the link to Mindful Discipline on amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Discipline-Approach-Emotionally-Intelligent/dp/1608828840

Here are the four reasons why a loving and mindful discipline is important:
1. Discipline creates harmony in your home.
2. Discipline supports mental health and a sense of well-being.
3. Discipline helps kids function well and reach their full potential.
4. Discipline ultimately leads to the resolution of “behavioral problems.”

Harmony in your Home
We all want out home to be a place of rest: a place where we can enjoy some amount of quiet, flow with our projects, and sweet intimacy with each other. To do this, we need to create a certain amount of structure and habits of respectful and heartfelt interaction. When we focus on meeting our children’s needs first, they feel better, act out less, and become more capable of contributing to harmony in the home. Meeting your child’s needs is the basis of Mindful Discipline, and leads to more harmony in the home.

Mental Health and Well-Being
Your child’s overall health and experience of life depend on the development of her body and nervous system—and many factors go into that development. But the area of the brain that is perhaps most responsible for mental health and the experience of well-being is the middle regions of the prefrontal cortex (PFC). This area—often called the CEO of the brain—is responsible for the following 9 functions:
1. Bodily regulation
2. Emotional balance
3. Down-regulation of fear
4. Impulse control/response flexibility
5. Attuned communication
6. Empathy
7. Ethical behavior
8. Self-insight
9. Intuition

This list—created by Dr. Dan Siegel—is the basis for mental health and the experience of well-being and is optimally supported by the Mindful Discipline approach.

Optimal Functioning and Becoming Fully Ourselves
A disciplined mind and brain not only feels better, but functions better. Full brain development takes at least twenty-five years, and every step of the way the PFC supports our functioning in life. It is the basis for emotional and social intelligence, allows us to remain focused when under stress, and allows us to choose the most appropriate response given the needs of the situation. This is how we not only come to function well, but also how we become able to pursue our dreams and reach our full potential in life. Don’t we all want that for our children?

The Resolution of Behavioral Problems
And finally, one of our jobs as parents is to guide our children toward taking responsibility for greater and greater portions of the “work” of daily life as they mature. We all hope that one day they will be able to brush their own teeth, get along with each other, and do their homework without our having to badger them. The more we can turn the work of parenting over to them, the more we can relax into the joys of being a parent.

For these reasons (and more), we parents should find a way to incorporate a healthy and loving discipline into our homes. Mindful Discipline does a fantastic job at detailing what children need in order to grow up into emotionally intelligent, self-disciplined, and resilient beings who deeply appreciate their parents.

You can read the book’s introductory chapter here:

Introduction to Mindful Discipline

With gratitude to the authors, Dr. Chris White and Shauna Shapiro Phd.

Carmen Gamper
www.newlearningculture.com

11 Ways to Show Kindness to Children

1. Make sure the environment is safe, and prepared for free play.

2. Give children a voice in daily life. For example, plan the course of a day together; choose clothing, food, and room arrangements together with a child.

3. Share information with children: where is the child at the moment, where are you going next, what can the child expect there.

4. Smile frequently at children.

5. Be predictable. Keep promises.

6. Show ways how children can express frustration safely, such as tearing up a newspaper, yelling into a pillow, or running in nature.

7. Help adults understand and communicate with children, and practice advocacy for children.

8. Don’t force a child to hug or kiss anyone.

9. Don’t talk to other adults about the child as if he or she wasn’t there.

10. Avoid taking things from a child’s hands without asking.

11. Avoid altering a child’s painting, drawing, or crafting work to “improve” it. Respect the child’s work as is.

~ BE SOMEONE WHO A CHILD CAN TRUST. ~

Art Work by Sybille Kramer http://sybilletezzelekramer.wordpress.com/

madonna mit den Baukloetzen

The Rights of Children at Schools

In my work as an educational consultant, I have visited many schools all over the world. I have observed, in both traditional and alternative schools, that children’s basic rights are often ignored. I believe that all human beings, no matter how old they are, must be granted the right to take care of their bodily needs. The child’s body and whole organism are by nature determined to move and learn in specific ways. When we adults refuse to collaborate with the child’s natural development, we create immense, unnecessary suffering. Even seemingly harmless experiences such as occasionally being denied the right to go to the toilet when needed, can leave trauma and health problems that are carried into adulthood.

The widespread assumption that children should sit still and listen, has been repeatedly disproved by scientists, psychologists, and educators. Children are meant to move their bodies and play. This is how they learn best. Furthermore, children in all school models are still being discriminated against, shamed and punished for having different learning styles. Sadly, children who learn more quickly or more slowly than their peers are often neglected in the classroom. Sometimes, learning content simply is not interesting enough or even age-appropriate. If children are unable to relate to the subject matter or the way in which it is delivered, they naturally lose interest. Children are drawn toward classroom activities that are aligned with their stages of cognitive and emotional development.

The “school model” itself will not protect children from abuse. Every single teacher and parent needs to take responsibility for his or her own well-being and for the child’s well-being.

UNESCO’s Rights Of Children are very basic human rights (e.g., to protect children against child labor and violence, and secure their right for education). http://www.unesco.org/education/pdf/CHILD_E.PDF My list of children’s rights starts from the assumption that children are in an educational environment. I hope this list of rights will raise awareness for the subtle abuse and hidden suffering that occur in schools every day. If we allow children to feel more comfortable in learning environments, we adults will also feel better and happier! Instead of having to worry about being thirsty or feeling emotionally drained, children will consistently have their needs met. Children will gain the opportunity to experience true, authentic learning with joy. This leads to a lifelong love of learning.

THE RIGHTS OF CHILDREN AT SCHOOLS
by Carmen Gamper

All the children have the right to do the following:

  1. Go to the toilet when needed.
  2. Have drinking water available.
  3. Move the body when needed.
  4. Learn to take care of personal needs.
  5. Learn and process emotions through play.
  6. Learn through exploration, trial, and error.
  7. Make mistakes and not be judged or shamed.
  8. Learn at a personal pace.
  9. Fully understand a subject before being tested.
  10. Not to be tested involuntarily. Instead, share knowledge by free choice, only when ready to receive feedback on learning progress.
  11. Not to be punished. Instead, children should be respectfully encouraged to become more self-disciplined.
  12. Not to be compared with peers. Instead, acknowledged as an individual student with individual talents, opinions, and characteristics.
  13. Not to be judged for being different.

This declaration is available as a beautiful poster:

by Carmen Gamper
www.NewLearningCulture.com

Older posts